So, I’m waiting on my work’s HR department to get back to me with some details regarding their policy when it comes to trans individuals transitioning at work. I sent an e-mail to HR, outing myself as trans, in December, and I’ve been waiting (patiently/impatiently, whatever) for them to get back to me with some firm details. So far, all I’ve gotten is a note that they’re still on this, and that they’ll want to set up a meeting.
It really doesn’t matter if they get back to me today, tomorrow or next week. I’m still going to hold off on transitioning on the job until I’m a little more confident in my appearance, voice, and just overall passing ability. (note: I know that the ability to pass is somewhat pointless, given that a.) everyone I work will/will see on a daily basis will have already worked with me during the time I presented as male b.) yadda, yadda, yadda, passing shouldn’t mean much, and c.) I don’t often interact with anyone outside of our office)
At first, I was thinking that maybe I should transition at the beginning of March, but, really, that’s less than 2 months away. I’ll only have been on hormones for 4.5 months at that point. Then, I thought, maybe I should hold off until April 1. That’s no good, either. The last thing I want to do is show up as me on April Fools Day (*womp womp*). May? Maybe May 1 would work. I still have no idea.
What I do know is that I hate coming to work in boydrag every day. I hate that everyone here only knows me by my birth name.
Balancing my comfort presenting as myself at work vs. the discomfort I feel by having to present as [birth name] is an interesting balance. Hopefully, sooner, rather than later, the balance will shift to the side of “comfort as myself,” and I’ll be able to freakin’ do this.
(picture is from yesterday… still not quite there yet…)