Monthly Archives: January 2013

[the sound of music]

So, I’m finding that my taste in music has changed in a somewhat significant way since starting HRT. I have to wonder if there’s science behind this. Over the past few months, what had become almost a general disinterest in music during the past several years completely changed to cravings to listen to bands I […]

By |January 28th, 2013|Personal|2 Comments

[motivation, fitting in, patience]

I haven’t really felt motivated to go to the local trans* group that meets 2x/month. It’s not that I don’t like the people there (I do!); it’s more that I feel like I still don’t quite fit in. I feel like I’m (personally) too male-bodied at the moment, not far enough along in my transition to really […]

By |January 22nd, 2013|Uncategorized|2 Comments

[HRT update: 100 days]

100 days, 100 photos

By |January 18th, 2013|Uncategorized|1 Comment

[to be sick is to be dysphoric]

To be sick is to be dysphoric. Nothing quite knocks one’s level of self-confidence down quite like being sick. For the past week or so, I’ve been dealing with what I have dubbed “the cold of my life.”

I’ve been sick before, obviously, but there’s something about having a cold that leaves me feeling more helpless […]

By |January 16th, 2013|Personal|0 Comments

[HRT update: 3 months; met with human resources]

Today marks 3 months on hormone replacement therapy for me (0.25ml weekly estrogen injections, 200mg daily anti-androgens). I’m not certain how I feel about my progress so far. I mean, there are certainly some noticeable changes in my physical appearance, but I don’t know, I suppose I had hoped for something more drastic by now. Yes, […]

By |January 11th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments

“You met me at a very strange time in my life.”

I almost feel obligated to say this to every person I’ve met over the past 6 months or so.

By |January 9th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments

[the 8 year old]

Growing up, I went to my mom in tears asking, “when will it get better?” I went on to explain this deep sadness that consumed me (an 8-year old consumed by sadness is kind of a sad vision), that just enveloped every part of my being.

My mom, trying to figure out what was at the […]

By |January 7th, 2013|Personal|0 Comments

[fake it ’til you make it]

Talking about my confidence, happiness and general quality of life, one of my friends said, “sometimes you’ve just got to fake it ’til you make it.”

Right now, none of those three categories are at the level I’d like to see them at, and so over the past few days, I’ve been trying to “fake it”: […]

By |January 6th, 2013|Personal|0 Comments

[whatever keeps the dysphoria at bay]

Out of boredom, I went through and listed out milestone dates in my transition on my Google Calendar. I realize there are pros and cons to focusing on these dates, as it’s not like, “I just hit day # x, woo! *instant changes*” From one day to the next, it’s not like I can really […]

By |January 4th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments

[figuring out when to transition on the job]

So, I’m waiting on my work’s HR department to get back to me with some details regarding their policy when it comes to trans individuals transitioning at work. I sent an e-mail to HR, outing myself as trans, in December, and I’ve been waiting (patiently/impatiently, whatever) for them to get back to me with some […]

By |January 3rd, 2013|Personal|0 Comments