It still seems weird anytime I get gendered correctly in public. A part of me is convinced that people are just humoring me, but as it happens more and more (it’s still a somewhat rare occurrence – though I do find that some places that once consistently called me “sir” aren’t gendering me at all, anymore – which I do see as progress).
I went to the movies the other night with my partner. As she went to use the restroom, I was hanging out in the theater bar (yes, this theater has a bar. Neat stuff.). The male bartender talked with me for a couple minutes, was friendly. He stepped away for a second to close out someone’s tab, comes back, and says, “what can I get for you, miss?”
Being called “miss,” I felt like I had the ability to order drinks normally outside of my comfort zone. So, I ordered a cosmopolitan (they’re delicious, don’t criticize). Then, the moment of dread: “can I see your ID?”
Crap. Usually my appearance and/or my voice will give me away, but now I face the awkward moment of this guy looking at the government-issued ID that has a picture of pre-transition me, my birth name, and a big mark that says “Male” on it.
He looks at the ID, up at me, down at the ID… “um… this is some guy’s ID…” confused. I say, “it’s my ID… I know.” He looks down at the ID again and says, “oh, this IS you!”
He proceeds to be really weird to me from that point onward.
More incentive to update my name/gender ASAP.