O, Christmas Tree! O, Christmas Tree

It’s been a tough year. I’ve learned a lot about myself, but at the same time, it certainly took a toll on me mentally & physically. Christmas gatherings have always left me feeling sentimental, but this one was especially that way.

My family did their best to pretend that their son that visited last year was no longer going to be a guest at the table, instead, with their daughter in his place. One of my aunts actually said, “nice to meet you,” to me as they entered. I appreciate these gestures. They do make me feel accepted among my own family.

No more stockings with my birth name. It was near-impossible to find a photo of me anywhere between the ages of 12 and 25. I was here, for what was, really, the first time. Both exciting and nerve wracking at the same time.

One thing I need to be aware of, moving forward, is how some of the issues I’m dealing with in my life affect those around me. I cannot let single events crush me in a “this is going to be the end of the world” kind of way. I need to find strength within myself to carry onward and come out of this a more confident and authentic person. In that, I need to take things down a lot emotion-wise.

I’m going to do better, world. I’m going to do better, me. I’m going to do better, friends.