1 month down. 31 days.
The past week has been a true trip for me. So many ups and downs, I’m still trying to make sense of where I’m at. Overall, though, I’m proud of myself. This is a point that, even 10 months ago, seemed like nothing but a dream. After battling this dissonance between mind and body for the better part of my life, I’m truly proud of myself for finally taking the steps I need to in order to get myself on track to being more than an empty shell sliding through life. Still, the process is very interesting on an internal level.
One of my good friends updated her Facebook with a status the other day, and it’s something I’m starting to be able to relate to, myself:
switching from hating yourself a bit more each day to loving yourself a bit more each day is a total mindfuck
I really do understand what she’s saying. While I wouldn’t quite say that I’m “loving myself a bit more each day,” I’m certainly not still travelling down the path of hating myself more each day (something I have certainly been guilty of, especially during the past few years). I think I’ve hit a plateau, and hopefully I’ll start climbing back up the ladder again, coming closer to feeling something I haven’t felt in too long: peace and acceptance of myself.
So here’s to many more months of this battle, growing as a person.